2 weeks ago

the hardest thing to accept is that someone you love is gone. you’ll never again get to see their face or their smile, you’ll never again get to hug them tight or tell them how much you love them. you have to live with knowing that while there are over 7 billion people on this planet, they are no longer one of them..

                                                                 R.I.P. Dad Ilove you

I hate myself for not thinking about you everyday. I need to be distracted, if I’m not, I think of you and let my depression take hold of me. And I hate myself even more for letting that happen. I hate that I grew up without you. There’s nothing more that I want than to have you back. I hate that if you came back you wouldn’t even know who I am. I’m a different person without you. I’d be better if you were here. I want you to be proud of me. Yeah, you’ve been gone .. When I think about it, it still hurts just as much as it did the moment I found out you were gone. Your death has taken such a fucking toll on me. I swim in a sea of depression. I sink, Dad. I luckily have some people who realize this and pull me back up eventually. I don’t know how long this can go on for though. I tell myself not to sink. I go weeks with being okay, maybe even happy. And then something hits me and I remember I don’t have you here to fix it. Pa,  I miss you. I love you more than absolutely anybody else in this world.. T_T